Passportu passportu nuvvenduku raaledammaa...?

Passportu passportu nuvvenduku raaledammaa ?
A. Naku chadavadam raadu B. Naku raayadam raadu
C. Naku chadivinchadam raadu D. Naku raayinchadam raadu


Prologue

Manager: babu devi…. Naakosaari nee passport no. kaavalammaa…
Devi: Neeku teleedemo mari… naaku passport ledu.
Manager: Haaa..? Ledaaaa…. :O hmm ponile nee PAN card no. ivvu
Devi: Neekidi kuda teleedaa… naakadi kuda ledu.
Manager: (avaakkayyi…) So… I guess you must be having your driving license atleast….would you mind sharing…
Devi: (Bande unte bussendukani….) Of course I know driving but…. I never thought I would require a license to drive…u know… I am just content with my license to kill.
Manager ki mantaputti: Are “YOU” khiddhing meee…. :X ???
Devi: Maranduke…. Indaaka nunchi ooo tega numberladigestunnavu enti sangathi… kompateesi naa performance ki bokka borla padipoyi… nannemanna phoren pampinche phrograam petteskuntunnava….(kannukoduthu adiga…)
Manager: Manakantha ledu….
Devi:Manasulo…( Hammani… gaalanthaa teesesaadedava)
Manager: Mana devudiki ante mana client gaadiki resources ni unique ga identify chese Personal Identification Number (PIN) laantidi kaavalantenu….
Devi: Osssss inthenaaa… naa daggaro brahmaandamaina idea undi…naa fone no. raaskomanu.
Manager: iddarni gouravanga goyyi teesi kappettestaadu.
Devi: (eedenti what an idea sirji anukuntaadanukunte..) Sarle Maremcheddamantaavu ?
Manager: Urgent ga anni apply chesko…. Aina neekivemi lekundaa payroll meeda ela pettukunnaru…hmmm
( mellaga sannai nokkulu nokkutunnaadu..)
Devi: Hussssssssssshhhhhhhhhuuuu….. sshhhhhhhu….
Manager: Mari apply cheskovalsindi kadaa… ippudu husshoo anukunte passportu pan card vastaaya ?

Devi….(oho...cha alagaa….…)

Devi: Sare aite apply cheskuntaan gaani… monna project party ki pub kelinappudu nuvvu evarevarni ekkadekkada gillavo….
Manager: Hussssssssssshooooooooo….husssshhhhuu…
Devi: Mari gillakunda undaalsindi kada….ippudu husshoo anukunte avanni mee intlo teleekunda untaaya ?
(Manager…chethulu jodisthu kallu mooskuni tala dinchukunnadu)
Devi: Cha…. Nuvvu gilleyyachu gaani mem husshoo anakudada…
Manager: Vadilevayya naayana… naa bangaru konda kadu. Indaakedo foreign program antunnavu… vellalanundaa ? mari cheppachkada innallu…. Neeku baaga mohamaatamekkuavayya devi.
Devi: Hmm… neeku chethivaatamekkuva…
Manager: adigo malla…. Hussshhhhoooo……

Idi o samvatsaram kindati maata… naachetha passport ki apply cheyyinchadaaniki poonukuni vaadi kompaki nippantinchukunentha pani chesaadu mavodu.

Deenikanna mundu nenu chaduvukunetappudu maa collegollu kuda try chesaaru. Palana vaaram post officollu vastaaru… meerandaru enchakka passport ki apply cheskovachu, easy ga vachestundi ani. Appudu nenu… ”Haahhahahahaha….. pichollu passport perutho naa daggaranunchi veyyarupaayalu dobbeddamane…nenemanna GRE aspirant anukunnara ? aina amerika afrika vellalante passport kaavali gaani subbaranga india lo unde vaadni naakenduku ? Poni anthaga kaavalanukunte abroad velletappude apply cheskuntaanu…. Indulo emundi MP seat aa ? MLA ticket aa ? pedda criminal background kuda akkarleddu deeniki …passporte kada… ” ila anukodame kaakundaa migatha apply chestunna vaallandarni chusi electionlalo votlesevaallani chusi navvukunnantha navvukunnanu.

Ee madhya obama kuda amerika nunchi manollandarni tolestunnadu…so passportla daggara raddi taggundochu.. inkaa evevo anukuni…Mothaaniki internal sketchokati vesi… ikkada maa aamchi Mumbai nunchi passport ki apply cheddamani decide ayyanu.

Website lo chusthe identity proof, address proof unte chaalu annattu rasaadu. (ohh… idintha veeji aa anukuni) gabaalni online lone apply chesesaanu. Application submit cheyyadaaniki aa mannaadu 10:15 am ki thane passport office ki ramannaadu. Manaki eppudu ilaanti crunch situations lo edurayye addankulanni eduroddesi correct ga 10 kalla vellipoyaanu. Passport office board kanipistundi daani venaka background lo moodu anakondaalu saagadeesi antinchesi melikalu tippesinattu Queue okati undi. “Vaarni…Bhaaraddesaaniki svatantram vachi 62 yellayyindi inka paapam ee janaalandariki internet ani okatundani… andulo passport ki apply cheskovachani…. Appudu queue emi lekunda direct ga counter daggaraki vellochani(website lo rasadandi babu… kaavalante chuskondi) teleeka agnanam tho aapa sopaalu padutunnaree…..hatha vidhi “anukunnanu. Kaasepu chinthinchi ala aa queue chivarakara unna master daggarakelli…

Nenu:Saar naaku 10:15 ki appointment undi. Ye counter ki vellali ?
Mastaru:Naaaaakkuda 10:15 ke appointment undamma…. Nenu anduke ee queue lo nunchunnanu.
Nenu:Saar meeru porabadutunnaru…nenu ONLINE lo apply chesanu. So nenu queue lo undakkarledu.(bhujaalu paikegaresthu cheppanu.)
Mastaru: Baabu…. Nenu kuda ONLINE lone apply chesaanu… idigo chudu naa appointment time (ani application chupinchaadu)
Andulo naalage same-to-same, ditto application prathi page sidelo 10:15 am ani undi.

Inthalo maa mundarunna head mastaru kuda kalpinchukuni tana application meedunna 10:15 am kuda chupinchaadu.

Saar … ante idanthaaaaaaaa……antu konchem kallu tirugutunnattu unte aayana pattukuni.
Avunamma idanthaaaaaaaaaaaaa………………….. ade

Saar cinemaallo chupisthe ento anukunna gaani nijamgaane inthapedda line untundanukoledu.
Andukenamma mee generation vallandaru eppudu internettu orkuttu chatting cinemaale kaakunda BAYATA PRAPANCHAM kuda chudaali. Appudappudu ila passport officelaki police stationlaki tirugutundaali.
Aa last line loni satire inko rendu vaaraallo ardham avutundani naakappudu teleedu.

Paddhati ga ala queue lone nunchuni 10 am kellinavaadni 3:00pm kalla counter daggarakelli, vaadiki naa documents submit chesesaanu. Nijaaniki naa daggara residence proof kinda maa company letter tappinchi inkemi ledu.Andukenemo Vaado vankara chupu chusi… fees pakka counterlo kattey annadu.
Naa daggaremo DD undi. Aa DD ye papam aa madam ki ichesaanu. Aavida malli daanni madatha petti naakichesaaru. Cashu annattu saiga chesaaru… ventane pakka building ki parigetti atm lonchi dabbulu teesi malla venakki parigetti aa madam ki cash chethilo pettanu sunaayaasamga.
Adgadi… akkaditho naa application adhyayam poorthayyindi.

Moodu vaaralayyindi…. Police verification ki inka ye bhatudu, bakasurudu raaledu. Naake kangaarochi office nunchi saayantram tinnaga police station ki vellipoyaanu. Naa letha vayasulo ade first time police station ki velladam. O saar ni kalisi adigithe… babu station ki raavadaaniki nuvvu padda tapana harshinchadagindi… kaani neeku ikkada nunchi mundu o letter vastundi appudu gaani nuvvee daridaapullo kanipinchaku… naa menalludu laantodivi…. Enduku cheptunnano ardham chesko… anesaaru. Abbhaa… ila alludu sentiment tho kottarentandi babu …hrudayam baruvekki inka akkada nunchi vachesaanu.

Daaranthaa kuda naa sixth sense aa letter ee paatiki mana building kinda unde rekula dabba lo eppudo padesi untadu, padesi untadu, padesi untadu, padesi untadu ani ambulance siren laaga ukkiribikkiri chesesindi. Maa rekula dabba speciality entante…andulo letters veyyagalam gaani tiyyalem. Sarigga post box lo elagaithe manam letters veyyagalam kaani postman okkade avi tiyyagalado… alaanti hyper secure design daandi. Anduke eppudu adi letters tho nindipotuntundi. Aa taravatha konnaallaki daanni evadanna clear chestaado mari em jarugutundo teleedu gaani antha khaali ai kanipistundi. Naakanthaga letters emi intiki raavu kaabatti neneppudu daani mystery ni study cheyyaledu.
Kaani eeroju tappadu.

Ground floor lo aa dabbaani kadipi kudipi kinda padesi tokki.. daaniki sottalu petti.. raka rakaala angles lonchi cheyyi pettadaaniki try chesi o araganta paatu orangutan laaga chaala circus feats chesaanu. Aakhariki aayasamochi maa flat ki vachesaanu. Chustunu gadaa… geda meeda o letter petti undi. Colombus ki amerika kanipinchinappudu ela feel ayyuntaado anthakanna ekkuva feel ayyanu.

Ventane aa letter maa pakkane unde cyber café vaadiki chupinchaanu… adi motham Marathi lo undi.
Vaadu daanni just ala chusi…”passport ki apply chesaara… o aidondalu teeskuni police station ki vellandi” annadu. Marandulo telephone billu, insurance policy, electricity billu ilaantivevo adiginattunnadu..
Mee daggaravanni unnayaa ?
Levu
Maranaduke aidondalu…
Unte
Rendondale…

Abbo…. Ee service charges anni veediki bhale telse anukuni Saturday station ki velladaamani decide ayyanu.


Round-1 (tingtingting)

Sir nenu passport kosam apply cheskunnanu… so meeru konchem verification ….
Dishu dishu hmm…. Aa documents chupinchu…
Sir actual ga maadi AP nenu last one and half year nunchi ikkaduntunnanu…
Enti ee documents anni AP ani unnayi…. Huh…. AP pampinchenaa ? pampinchenaa ? (dishu dishu)
Saar saar please…
Dishu dishu dishu
Sare nee daggara unna documents anni ila teeskura…
Ippudu ivanni teeskelli o S.E.O chetha attest cheyyinchi teeskura… dishu…. Vellu

Result 0-1

Hmm …dead man don’t demand dowry anukuni aa documents anni teeskuni station nunchi bayataki vachanu. Raadam aithe vachanu gaani ippudu attestation cheyyinchadam ela… naa daggara anni Xerox copies unnayi… originals untene gaani pani jaragadu. Sarle vasudevudi laaga…. evaranna dorikithe godaari daateddaamanukunna. Elagola maa colleagues apartments lo unde oka retired advocate kaallu vellu pattukuni mothaaniki documents attestation cheyyinchukunna. (ee taathagaaru matladithe “na fawar poddi”…”naa fawarooo poddi”…” naa fawar poddayyaa baabu”…anukuntu aayanaki ee vayasulo kuda entha powerundo naaku chupinchaaru. )

Avanni teeskuni rendo Saturday malla station ki vellanu.

Round-2 (tingtingting)

Sir….
Dishu dishu…. Documents anni teeskochaava…?
Aa teeskochaanu sir.
Dishu… sarigga vinu “ANNI” teeskochaava ?
Anni teeskochesaanu sir…. (appude ardham cheskovalsindi “ANNI” ante “anneeee ….“ani)
Dishu… enti only rent agreement unda…aithe kudardu.
Sir..sir
Dishu…dishu.


Result 0-2

Konnaalla tarvatha o roju nenu office ki late ga bayalderutunte maa inti eduruga unde mandula shop daggara kanipinchaadu. Nannu chusi kuda edo fone ki disease diagnose chestunnattu fone ni atu itu tipputu paina kinda chustunnadu. Nene aayana daggaraki vellanu.

Sir… please sir naa daggara ikkada one year nunchi unnattu proof undi. Konchem chudandi sir.
Hmm…. Em chaduvukunnavu ?
Hamma konchem daarloki vastunnattunnadu…. BTech sir.
Hmm…. Em chadivistaavu ?
Aaa…???
Nee pani chesthe em chadivistaavu antunnanu…..
Sir oo aidondalu…
Hmm…. Sare Saturday station ki ra.

Round-3 (tingtingting)

Sir… naa documents.
Nee file passport office ki pampinchesamayya… ippudu documents unna em cheyyalem.

Neeku passport raadu. DISHU. (knocked-out).

Konchem terukunnaka… sir please sir , please sir please…
Igo…. Nee gurinchi process aagadayya nee file malla passport office ki pampinchesaamu… malla passport officekelli malla verification kosam apply chesko.. appudu chuddam. Dissshhuuum.

Result: The battle continues…

Aa roju … vaadni , vaadiki atu edu taraalni itu edu taraalni arundhati cinemalo villain gaadni chitakottesi paathipettisinattu paathi pettalanipinchindi.

Epilogue

Nijaaniki passport avasaram naakippudu ledu. I just took it up as a social experiment to see how it feels like to be completely on your own in this world. It’s miserable. It makes you question your values…contradict your beliefs…doubt your abilities and test your patience to such an extent that you almost lose faith in your SELF.

By the way… the whole thing…It’s a life sucking experience.

P.S: God save the system !