Prana Bhayam

The fact that people thinking themselves as stable and permanent, in spite of seeing several deaths daily is surprising. ~ Dharmaraju (Yaksha Prasnalu)

Nenu 4th class lo unnappudu nenadigano leda ma naannagaarike teeskellalanipinchindo... nannu maa chellini jurrasic park cinema ki teesekellaru. I mean teeskelli vadileasaru. aa cinema rjy lo ramakrishna theater lo aadindi. appatlo aa theater lo kothaga dolby digital surround sound dts etc anni pettinchaadu. maa chelli 1st class. cinema sagam varaku baane undi. tarvaatha dinosaurlu mammalni choosi dts surround sound lo aravadam modalupettayi. Naakkonchem bhayamesindi. Maa chelli edupu start chesesindi. Actually aa theater nunchi pranalatho evaru bayatapadaleremo anukunna. cinema motham ayyesariki naalo jeevam malli chigurinchindi. kaani..... daanni bhayam kammesindi. enthaga bhayapaddanante summer holidays ki maa cousins intiki vellinappudu vaallandaru nannu...
"orey devi aa godenakaala nunchi dinosaur vachestadi jagratha,.... maa rendo bedroom mancham kindaki choodaku assala akkada dinosaur pillalni pettindi". ila bhayapettevallu. nenu bhayapadevaadni. peddollani todu teeskelle vaadni aa room lokellalanna leda aa goda daggarakellalanna. antha bhayam. praana bhayam.

Tarvaatharavaatha mellamellaga aa bhayam poyindi. tarvatha inkem cinema chusano gaani cheekati ante bhayam undedi. idi kuda raanu raanu poyindi. kaastha peddayyesariki manushulaki tappinchi inka deniki bhayapadaalsina avasaram ledu ane conclusion ki vachesanu. okaanoka stage lo there was no fear at all. asalenduku bhayam? deniki bhayam? akkarledu kada... ide attitude inkonchem mundukelli pote potaam andulo emundi... ila kuda anukunetattu chesindi. There was absolutely no fear about anything. naku telsi ee dialogue manandaram edo oka sandarbham lo vaade untaam pote potaam...evundira... ee roju undachu repu tapa katteyyachu evadiki telsu... etc etc variations tho. ee dialogue esetappudu mana life value samudram lo neeti chukka ane feeling tho vestuntaam.

Monnosaari around 5 AM. naaku melukuvachindi. maa bedroom venaka balcony loki evaro okkokkalluga digutunattu sounds vinipistunnayi. Bhramemo anukunna gaani the sounds seemed too real. evarayyundochu...??? dongala...? aithe enthamandi...? aa dooke sounds batti naaku atleast oka aaruguru untaaremo anipinchindi. entippudu veellu dochukuntaara... aina dongala timing idi kaade... velli chooddaama..? ammo ... balcony ante maree chinna space. fighting ki saripodu. andulonu aaruguru. cinemaallo aithe okkadu aradajanu mandini kottagaldu gaani. idi real life kada. real life lo heroes undaru kada. inthaa telisi gokkodam enduku..teeskelthe em teeskelthaaru... maha aithe naa laptop... ammo... worst fellows ki adi saripokapothe... nannevanna cheste... (mellaga elagola padukundamanukunte vellenti naa chetha poyistunnaru). "nannevanna cheste..." ee alochana raagane gunde chetilokochestundi. ingeneralga mana heart beat manam feel avvalante konchem nidaananga notice cheyyali. kaani ippuda avasaram undadu. Mana gunde kottukovadam okkate manaki telustundi vinipistundi. exactly ee moment lo telustundi mana pranam viluva entanedi... manam life lo antha goppa panulemi kuda chesundakapovachu. aina gaani "manam bratakaali". emo bratikunte inkedaina chestamemo... ila elagaina sare bratiki bayatapadaali anipistundi.

Taravaatharavaatha mari emaindo nenu malli nidra lechanu. kaani ee experience anthaa gurtundi.Appudanipinchindi.... maatladetappudu manam intha alochincham.. baaga stylish gaa... who cares ane attitude tho....I am what I am... inka veelaithe trivikram raasina dialogue la undele matladataam. anni ani kaadu.. konni vishyalu. (Andulo nijam enthundanedi evvadu pattinchukodanukondi adi vere vishayam.) Kani in the moment... bhayamante teleeni blood ra maadi ani cheppadaaniki gonthaaripoddi. aa momentlo ... emo naaku teleetledu. mind totally blank aipoddanukuntunna.

This experience had reminded me about how frail our life could be.

Pilla Pedda

Indaaka bhakthi TV lo andhra maha bhaaratam ane program chustunnanu. Dr.Garikipaati Narasimha rao gaari vyaakhyanam. Chaala manchi maatalu cheptuntaaru. Ee kaalam vidya vyavastha lo samskaaram, desa bhakthi, daiva bhakthi, talli tandrula meeda prema ilaantivemi pillalaki sarigga abbatledani aayana avedana. Kontha kanna ekkuva nijame indulo undi.

Pillalu chaala telivaga untunnaru ee rojullo. kaani aa telivini saraina dikku lo pettukodaaniki vaallaki margadarsakulu kaavali. prastutam bhaarya bhartalu iddaru udyogam chesi sampadistene gaani samaajam lo oka hoda ki raalemane oka guddi nammakam gattiga naatukupoyindi. Daantho pillaltho tallitandrula kanna ipadlu cellphonelu ekkuva kaalam gaduputunnayi. Taahata ki minchi kharchu pettagalgadam oka hoda ee rojullo.

Exhibit A:
venakatisaari rjy vellinappudu raillo naa pakkana oka family kurchundi.hyderabad lo makaam. iddaru aada pillalu. edo classu moodo classu chaduvutunnaranta. Eduruga oka retired lieutenant inka vaalla aavida kurchunnaru. ee chinna ammayi andarni prasnalu vestundi.

aa retd col. gari bharya veelliddaritho edo cheptundi... aa rojullo ala undedi ila undedi anukuntu. kaasepayyaka ee chinnammaayi... "Aunty meeku aa kaalam nachindaa ee kalam nachinda?" ani adigindi. pitta konchem kootha G scale ani andaru konchem avaakkayyaru. range ki minchina question adigindi anukuni. Aavida inka aa rojullo viluvalundevi, andaru chaala kastapadithene gaani sukhapadevaallu kaadu.. ilantivi konni cheppi aakhariki nenu aa kaalam daanni kabatti naaku aa kaalame nachindi annaru.

Mari neekem nachindi ani aa ammaini adigaaru.

Naaku ee kaalam antene istam anesindi ekkuva time teeskokunda. Endukamma... anadigaaru.
ee kaalam lo nenu evari maata vinakkarleddu naa istam vachinattu undachu andi. Actually nenu alochichadam modalupettinappatnunchi oka rendu ventrukalu tella bade daaka ee point telsukolekapoyaanu. ee papa edo farex tinnattu chaala easy ga cheppindi.

Vaalla kaburlu kaasepayyaka ee papa cheta asalu pedda vaallani enduku gouravinchaali? ani adigistaayemo ani naaku bhayamesindi.(appatiki na daggara kuda deeniki answer ledu anduke bhayam*) Kaani ee ammayi evarem cheppina chaala sradhaga vintundi kaani tana opinion edo tanu cheptundi. Eddula talaadinchatledu alagani mondighatam la kuda ledu. prati daanni baagane alochistundi. ani nakanipinchindi.

Exhibit B:
Ilaage RJY nunchi vachetappudu naaku inko family edurayyindi. ippudu kuda iddarammayile. veellu mumbai lo makaam. pillalu chinnapatnunchi mumbai school and mumbai vatavaranaaniki alavaatu paddavaallu. Ee pillalu raillo muppavu journey ki paiga vaalla naanna office laptop lo facebook open chesi andulo farmville aadukuntu gadipaaru. asalide ekkuvanukunte... inko aayana phone charging pettukodaaniki plug point ivvandi ante oppukoledu. Farmville farmville naa tokka anukuntu tega pechi pettaru. Deeniki todu vaalla naanna kuda tappamma raillo andaru untaaru andaru anni vaadukuntaru ani cheppatledu. kaasepayyaka ichestaam inkaasepayyaka ichestaam anukuntu unnadu. Atleast ila farmville aadadam vaalla naa pillalu vyavasaayam gurinchi telsukuntunnaru ani konchem murisipoyaadu naatho. Naku devudi peru cheppi veedi burra meedo kobbarikaaya kottalanipinchindi.

Oka ganta nenu inko ganta nuvvu laptop ani oppandam cheskunnattunnaru ee pillalu. Chinna pilla chaala sepu aadaka pedda pilla chance vachindi. Kaani appatike inko aayana phone charging kosam chaala sepu wait chesadu. Inkaasepu aagite athane budhi cheppesela unnadani veella naanna plug point ni athanikodilesaru kaasepu. oka ganta daataka athanu phone teeskuni train digipoyaadu.

Ippudu peddammayi chance vachindi. Adi laptop on cheyyagane chinna pilla pechi modalettindi. oppandam prakaram ganta aipoyindi ippudu nenu aadatanu farmville ani. Ayyo nenu asala aadaledu kada... aa ganta aayana charging pettukunnadani peddammai cheppindi.

"That's not my problem." ivi aa chinnammayi exact ga vaadina padaalu. Nenu udyogam lo jere varaku ee "that's not my problem" mantram vinaledu. Chintakaayalu raalavu gaani ee mantram vinte vipareetamaina chirrethukochestadi. Ilaanti mantraanni chinna tanam lone papaki evaro mundu chupu unna vaallu upadesinchuntaaru.

Peddammayi laptop laakkuni... "Get Lost!" ani vaalla chellini aaseervadinchindi.

Exhibit C:
Maa inteduruga varsha ani oka papa untundi. Third class anukunta. varsha inka tana friend snigdha kalisi 31st night muggestunnaru.
Devi: "oho.. wish you a Happy New Year... tonty tolve aa"
Snigdha: (Ventane)..tonty tolve kaadannnayya two thousand twelve.
neninkaa saradagane... oho two thousand twelve aa... sare sare annanu.
varsha ki nenu telsu kaabatti... Annayyaki chaduvu raadule ani vetakaarinchindi.
papam snigdha inka catch cheyyaka..

Ayyo chaduvu raada ??? marenti chuddaaniki antha class ga unnadu annayyaa andi.

Naaku bhale navvochindi. Chinna chinna pillalu veellu manishini "chusi" class aa kaada ani decide chesestunnarani.



* manam pedda vaallani enduku gouravinchali ane question ki answer entaa ani nenu tarvatha alochinchaanu. Naakila anipinchindi.
Manam puttinappati nunchi oka padahaaru peddenimidi ella daaka chaala varaku anukarana dwaarane nerchukuntaam. ammmma.... a a ammmma.... taaattha... ila chinnappudu manaki maatalu nerpinchadam nunchi, konchem peddayyaaka adi vaste aa velu chupinchaali idi vaste ee velu chupinchaali etc etc. Inkonchem peddayyaka kuda pedda vallu mana manchi kori chaala cheptaaru. Pedda manishi ante jeevithaanni mundu chadivi(adi tana age tanakichina opportunity) tana experience tho inkokallaki maata saayamo manchi saayamo chesevaadu.Ala manaki konchem nerpi mana manchi kori cheppevaallu guruvulatho samaanam. Edaina nerchukovalanukunte guruvula patla gouravam anedi khachitanga undaali. Gouravam anedi mundu unte avathala vaadu cheppe daani meeda sradha vastundi. Sradha ga nerchukunte edaina abbutundi. Ala pedda vallu ante manaki manchi chedulu nerpe vallani. Alaanti pedda vaalla patla gouravam tho undali anedi mana ingitha gnanam ani manavaallu alochinchi cheppina maata.