Saturday, March 10, 2012

Prana Bhayam

The fact that people thinking themselves as stable and permanent, in spite of seeing several deaths daily is surprising. ~ Dharmaraju (Yaksha Prasnalu)

Nenu 4th class lo unnappudu nenadigano leda ma naannagaarike teeskellalanipinchindo... nannu maa chellini jurrasic park cinema ki teesekellaru. I mean teeskelli vadileasaru. aa cinema rjy lo ramakrishna theater lo aadindi. appatlo aa theater lo kothaga dolby digital surround sound dts etc anni pettinchaadu. maa chelli 1st class. cinema sagam varaku baane undi. tarvaatha dinosaurlu mammalni choosi dts surround sound lo aravadam modalupettayi. Naakkonchem bhayamesindi. Maa chelli edupu start chesesindi. Actually aa theater nunchi pranalatho evaru bayatapadaleremo anukunna. cinema motham ayyesariki naalo jeevam malli chigurinchindi. kaani..... daanni bhayam kammesindi. enthaga bhayapaddanante summer holidays ki maa cousins intiki vellinappudu vaallandaru nannu...
"orey devi aa godenakaala nunchi dinosaur vachestadi jagratha,.... maa rendo bedroom mancham kindaki choodaku assala akkada dinosaur pillalni pettindi". ila bhayapettevallu. nenu bhayapadevaadni. peddollani todu teeskelle vaadni aa room lokellalanna leda aa goda daggarakellalanna. antha bhayam. praana bhayam.

Tarvaatharavaatha mellamellaga aa bhayam poyindi. tarvatha inkem cinema chusano gaani cheekati ante bhayam undedi. idi kuda raanu raanu poyindi. kaastha peddayyesariki manushulaki tappinchi inka deniki bhayapadaalsina avasaram ledu ane conclusion ki vachesanu. okaanoka stage lo there was no fear at all. asalenduku bhayam? deniki bhayam? akkarledu kada... ide attitude inkonchem mundukelli pote potaam andulo emundi... ila kuda anukunetattu chesindi. There was absolutely no fear about anything. naku telsi ee dialogue manandaram edo oka sandarbham lo vaade untaam pote potaam...evundira... ee roju undachu repu tapa katteyyachu evadiki telsu... etc etc variations tho. ee dialogue esetappudu mana life value samudram lo neeti chukka ane feeling tho vestuntaam.

Monnosaari around 5 AM. naaku melukuvachindi. maa bedroom venaka balcony loki evaro okkokkalluga digutunattu sounds vinipistunnayi. Bhramemo anukunna gaani the sounds seemed too real. evarayyundochu...??? dongala...? aithe enthamandi...? aa dooke sounds batti naaku atleast oka aaruguru untaaremo anipinchindi. entippudu veellu dochukuntaara... aina dongala timing idi kaade... velli chooddaama..? ammo ... balcony ante maree chinna space. fighting ki saripodu. andulonu aaruguru. cinemaallo aithe okkadu aradajanu mandini kottagaldu gaani. idi real life kada. real life lo heroes undaru kada. inthaa telisi gokkodam enduku..teeskelthe em teeskelthaaru... maha aithe naa laptop... ammo... worst fellows ki adi saripokapothe... nannevanna cheste... (mellaga elagola padukundamanukunte vellenti naa chetha poyistunnaru). "nannevanna cheste..." ee alochana raagane gunde chetilokochestundi. ingeneralga mana heart beat manam feel avvalante konchem nidaananga notice cheyyali. kaani ippuda avasaram undadu. Mana gunde kottukovadam okkate manaki telustundi vinipistundi. exactly ee moment lo telustundi mana pranam viluva entanedi... manam life lo antha goppa panulemi kuda chesundakapovachu. aina gaani "manam bratakaali". emo bratikunte inkedaina chestamemo... ila elagaina sare bratiki bayatapadaali anipistundi.

Taravaatharavaatha mari emaindo nenu malli nidra lechanu. kaani ee experience anthaa gurtundi.Appudanipinchindi.... maatladetappudu manam intha alochincham.. baaga stylish gaa... who cares ane attitude tho....I am what I am... inka veelaithe trivikram raasina dialogue la undele matladataam. anni ani kaadu.. konni vishyalu. (Andulo nijam enthundanedi evvadu pattinchukodanukondi adi vere vishayam.) Kani in the moment... bhayamante teleeni blood ra maadi ani cheppadaaniki gonthaaripoddi. aa momentlo ... emo naaku teleetledu. mind totally blank aipoddanukuntunna.

This experience had reminded me about how frail our life could be.